Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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