We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
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Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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