awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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