Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
