True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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