Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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