I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
