Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
