Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I just made out with a guy for $7.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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