Screwed.edu
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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