The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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