Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
