Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
