She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
