your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
