that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
