I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
