So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
