ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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