dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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