I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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