Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
