she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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