is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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