WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
