I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
