I want to stick my p in your. b.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
