Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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