Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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