well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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