Small penises have feelings too.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
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Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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