your room smells of hookers.
And success
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
