Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
kristin has been a bad kristin
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
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You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
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I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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