ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize