dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
