I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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