nut hugger
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
They are going to name an STD after you.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
