oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
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She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
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I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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