I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
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