What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
