it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
