you have to choose: penises or morals?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize