so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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