I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
