Dual....:-)
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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