You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
