haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
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Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
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She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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