I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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