Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
