It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
