I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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