Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
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He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
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Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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