Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
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