I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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