what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
