Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
