Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
Randomize