He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
