I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
