sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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