remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
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