The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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