and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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