I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
