brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
