so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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