U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
