woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
