i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
