absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
