When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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