Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
